Wasting Time

Today I accomplished nothing. In fact, I have been accomplishing nothing for quite some time. I want to say, "Oh, it's summer. I'm allowed to relax." But I have been doing nothing for a lot longer than just this summer. In fact, I can't remember do a whole lot of significant things in my entire life. I suppose that moving out in high school could be considered significant to a total stranger, but I find that it's overshadowed, in my mind at least, by the horrible period of me and my parents.

I wish that I could say I have done something truly significant. If I could donate a lot of money to something, or win an award for something important, maybe that would help. A miraculous scientific discovery that saved lives would be great. Instead, I am a poor college student who has no idea where she is, and can't even begin to image where she is going.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy. I'm in an amazing relationship that just seems to get better everyday. I have a great apartment, I always have food to eat, and all that. But anyone can do that! I feel like I won't be a real person until I do something that proves myself, but how do you prove yourself?

Sometimes I think I am too young to be worrying about this kind of thing. Should 19-year-olds care about their contributions to society or anything? Then again, I am freaking out that I am too late. Maybe if you don't find out what you should be doing early in life, you never know! What if that is the case, and my whole life is wasted? I feel like I get should get started on improving myself right now! And yet, here I am, writing in my blog, just wasting time.